ahreeuh

pyrexvisean:

dont compare yourself to anyone only compare your rate of progress

(via clarry-deactivated20130924)

note to self

the price of discipline is always less than the pain of regret

Personal Experience with Social Constructs of Rape

Knowing that my story could help some of you, I can’t keep it a secret any longer. Less than two months ago, I was raped in the state of Nevada. I explicitey and implicitey told an acquaintance more times than I can count that I couldn’t have sex with him, and he did it anyway. The whole time I was being raped I was convinced that because I was intoxicated it was my fault. I didn’t touch him, I didn’t hit him, I just cried as he proceeded to ejaculate on me. There were no witnesses, this happened in the driver seat of my car (and if you’ve ever had car sex you know that the steering wheel is an obstacle and thus not a favorable/inviting place to have consensual sex). I felt silenced and obligated to take him home and I can’t excuse this action for any other reason than for my belief that the rape was also my fault. This is a very common response of rape victims. I reported the incident an hour after it occurred, have forensic evidence, and got counseling. My detective issued a “thourough” polygraph yesterday which took several hours to which the rapist yielded no signs of deception and was cooperative. My detective said that because of this, the case must be witheld as “insufficient evidence.” She told me, “you know, most rapists are extremely uncopperative unlike this one and the fact that we can prove that he believed it was consensual (via A POLYGRAPH) I can’t take your case to court.” It was after I hung up the phone that I realized she assigned an image to rapists; that Ted Bundy is an exception. Feeling confused and hopeless, I decided that one person who works for the law shouldn’t stop me from fighting. I talked to her supervisor who was very nuetral about factual evidence. This sargaent told me that this case wouldn’t make it to court because a defense attorney would pose, “why didn’t she run away? why didn’t she scream? why didn’t she run down the street?” like a typical victim of rape. I then offered to take a polygraph myself and was denied one! This proves that the legal system has a very systematic approach to how women are suppose to respond to rape. My natural response to rape cannot be proved and consequently this rapist is a free man. I am still fighting, though! I’m doing as much as possible to take this to court no matter the outcome, this rapist deserves the exposure and guilt.
The gratification I seek comes from exposing to you all the social inequalities of rape, common rape misconceptions, and law enforcement’s ideal image of a rape crime scene. It is no wonder why rape is the most undereported crime because when it is, the only way to incarcerate a rapist is if the victim runs down the street screaming like a banshee and has bruises all over. Most victims end up getting revictimized by the law. We cannot assign any traits to rapists or victims of rape (more on what a rape victim is like: http://herbsandhags.blogspot.co.uk/2012/06/youre-not-like-rape-victim.html).
“Society doesn’t want to blame men for making the choice to rape women, it wants to blame women for enabling men to make that choice and usually it succeeds. Rapists very rarely get to accept responsibilty for their choice to rape, even rape victims blame themselves for their rapist’s choice to rape them.” http://beingfeministblog.wordpress.com/2012/09/17/how-i-became-a-rape-victim/comment-page-1/#comment-558

MY ADVICE TO ALL VICTIMS OF RAPE:
Get counseling as soon as you can, it is never too late! At the end of the day you have to make sure you take care of yourself. My recent experience with rape opened a box of my childhood experiences with sexual assault. Don’t box up your feelings and set them aside! They WILL come back if you don’t treat them. Most importantly, DO NOT LET THIS DEFINE YOU.

Yours truly,
Aria Reeder